Don't let me go
by Carissimi
Summary: A journey to the ups and downs of life with a companion known as love/ Pre and Post time skip, beware of Spoilers!
1. Prologue

Prologue

Words are never to be taken lightly.

I knew that, be it because of the company I had during all these years in my past, where a wrong word could have spelled instant death, or simply because of my profession as an archaeologist.

I knew, and I should have known the words from that stupid bet were bound to spell disaster from the very beginning and the worst part is, that it was entirely my fault.

Nami teased me about not being able to make any of the boys fall for me, she continued on and on and finally we made the bet, if I could make Zoro fall for me in one month she would buy me all the books pleasing me.

"You're on" were the words I should deeply regret later.

Why out of all people Zoro?

Was it a slight hint of my affection to him? Was it a subconscious feeling of closeness to him or just the dark side of Nico Robin's twisted personality?

Either way as time progressed I could awaken his interest, what I had never anticipated was me being slowly but surely captured by his immanent aura and so it happened, that I found myself more and more attracted by his seemingly simple, but when thoroughly observed, very deep character.

Needless to say that I should have stopped right there and then, but I simply couldn't refrain from my desires which told me to keep on.

And here I am now, fully conscious of the gravity this situation bears, fully aware that a bet on feelings, moreover the ones of a Nakama and maybe even more, is not just plain wrong but rather demonic, and so I can't shake off a word of my past clinging louder and louder in my mind "Demon's Child"

The prejudice I never fully believed comes down crushing on me now, its fangs embracing me closer and closer and its weight , I had forgotten about since I joined the Straw Hats, resting heavy on my shoulders.

It's hard and it hurts as my past is catching up on me and my feeling of guilt is leaving me bewildered about who I really am, and if I really do bring misery to the ones around me.

I try to handle this feeling like I always did, in the only way I know, shoving it away, trying somehow to let it not get the better of me, soothing my mind telling me "it is not true!" over and over again only to be eventually overcome by a light sleep.

Nico Robin, you are a mess, wrecked up and torn asunder with the sole consolation that your emotions are sincere and honest.

I don't even want to think about what it would feel like knowing it was only a game with a mere toy.

A few cleared out in my dreams,

"Get it back"... "Get it back"..."Get him back"


	2. Bewildered and Heartbroken

Chapter 1

The "Thousand Sunny" was slightly rocking from side to side in the waves, reaching the rather calm waters of the nearing "Sabaody Archipelago" welcoming them with a warm almost summerly weather.

The sun was just beginning its journey across the sky and nobody was on deck just yet.  
>In only 2 or 3 more hours this surely will change and the ship will naturally be filled with all the crazy and lively atmosphere the Straw Hats seemingly always<br>carry around, namely a certain Captain.

While it appeared just like another normal day the sight of Nico Robin sitting in the kitchen sipping on her coffee was rather odd.

Taking her fitful sleep into account it wasn't unusual for her to be still or already awake, uncommon or rather unknown of was, that she had not been in the ship's library, which can be considered her private place, and she wasn't even carrying a book around.  
>Nico Robin without a book in her vicinity was as exceptional as Luffy not wanting to eat meat, solely by this fact you could guess that something was demanding<br>all of her attention.

She wore her usuals calm and collected face, through the recent years or maybe her entire life it has developed to a natural part of her personality and still an attentive observer might be aware of the dense atmosphere covering the room.  
>She held the mug of her precious coffee with both hands pretty close to her lips, almost embracing the beverage with her slender hands as if she was trying<br>to absorb the radiating warmth.

Her elbows leaned on the table slightly supporting her upper body, she kept her arms close to the chest, curled up like this she sat there, deeply in thoughts.  
>She felt an intense fear, a fear about the inevitable confession to the person she cared so much for.<p>

The importance of the Swordsman appeared to her a while ago he wasn't just a Nakama, understanding her through mere reason, he understood through reason and by heart or at least that was her impression.

She once read a book which concluded everyone was having a soulmate as a person of natural similarity you were eventually bound to meet, but she had never experienced something comparable.  
>She thought of it as some spiritual nonsense, most unlikely to be true, to dreamy to be true, and now she finds the word is hitting right on the spot with her feeling.<p>

The more she thinks about it the more she worries.

You wouldn't need to know Zoro all that well to anticipate his reaction, she knew it was gonna get tough and tried to prepare as best as she could.  
>In fact she hoped this wouldn't havoc their relationship.<br>She couldn't bear the possibility of losing the bond they shared without despair welling up inside.

Keeping it a secret from him wasn't an option either.  
>She could surely convince the Navigator if she wanted to, but it seemed plain wrong and would strain the whole matter all the more.<br>Her mind was constantly circling around these thoughts, coming to no conclusion which left her restless and axious.

Eventually the ship's crew woke up and she tried her best to hide her current state, waiting patiently for a chance to drag the Swordsman  
>to a more isolated spot on the ship.<p>

She is standing on the balcony on front of the kitchen facing the main mast.  
>Most of the crew left a short while ago to explore Sabaody Archipelago where they have landed around noon, leaving only herself and Zoro.<p>

She sighed, saying to herself "it's now or never"

She hadn't found an opportunity earlier in time, trying to secretly avoid the crew while eagerly searching for the right moment, was stressful, even for her.

She had tried her best to go unnoticed, apparently successful as nobody had questioned her behaviour, that is until a certain Swordsman enters the deck by jumping down from the crow's nest.

The sudden thud of his bodyweight hitting the deck slightly startled her but she relaxed seeing it was Zoro only to feel her body tightening again when he caught sight of her and started closing in.

"Oi Robin, what are you still doing here?" he asked, slightly emphasizing the you, sounding surprised.

"Nothing" she replied wearing her usual smile as a façade.

He looked at her, blinking two or three times as if he considered to express his doubt.

"Anyway, we should get going" was all he said turning around with the intention to leave the ship.

"Z- Zoro-san.." she spoke with a hint of hesitation slightly losing control of her voice.

She tried to cover her nervousness by slowly walking down to him.

"Something is definitely odd about this" he said to himself as his instincts started to kick in.

She stood close to him now as she spoke softly "can we have a word?"

He looked closely at her, caught a glimpse of her eyes and saw the sincere request in them, not that he would have refused anyway he only nodded.  
>With this she grabbed his right hand and turned around dragging him to the back of the ship while her grasp was continually tightening on their way.<p>

"Something definitely is wrong here" he thought when they reached the platform located in the rear.

"Oi Robin, what's getting you so down?" he said.

Showing a hint of annoyance he loosened his grip while she kept hold.

She faced him, took a breath considering her next step and started to put her feelings into words.

"I.. I want you to know that I am very happy that.. we really warmed up for one another...a.. and I am deeply grateful for.. for the trust you have in me"

She kept gaining confidence and the words started to form more easily now so she continued.

"But I am afraid that I have abused your trust, I.. I am so sorry about myself, that I feel ashamed but.."

Zoro had lost his patience at this point.  
>He was nervous enough anyway, constantly rubbing the joint of his index finger with his thumb.<br>He felt he became more and more angry "just spit it out!" he snorted in a rough tone.

"The very first impulse I had before I knew better was a stupid bet, I.."

She wanted to continue but gasped when she saw his face, his eyes.

Her heart felt like it had refused to work, and her chest felt as if a heavy weight has been put on it.

Strangling her, making it incredibly hard to breathe, she had never seen a feeling like this in his eyes.

Hurt...Pain... so intense her body became numb.

When her hand lost contact, and his arm fell back without any feelings in it, that was when the time stopped.

He had heard the words, and he wanted to forgive, but his reason refused to work.

It was dark, he felt turned away from Robin without himself noticing.

At that point her words could barely reach him anymore, she felt tears welling up inside, wanting to be released.

She tried to find words, anything..., something to make him believe her, but it remained silent.

All that he could hear was Robin's voice, barely a whisper "Please, believe me"

She sounded so fragile but all his mouth could hardly pronounce with a breathy voice was "Sorry.."

and after a long pause "make me".

And with that he turned around leaving the ship.

* * *

><p>Oh god I feel like I am way to hard on poor Robin<p>

Tell me if you like it and if you didn't of course, PM me if you feel like it I'm glad to get any sort of feedback!

Greetings


	3. A Clash at night

Chapter 2

She had fallen to her knees.

One hand covering her eyes the other holding onto the wooden railings as tears fell freely down from her chin.

She was prepared but it wasn't enough.

She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't stop the tears in their path down her cheeks.

All of her previous resolve was obliterated, blown away, vaporized like ash in a sea breeze.

How did she happened to do this?

She had crippled one of her dearest, a sword would never be enough to tear such a wound.

Only the curse of a onesided battle, where demons were victorious, remained.

It had been a long time since she felt so cold, so alone, like she was the only being under the sky where crying couldn't help neither could laughing.

She tried to laugh like Saul had told her, leaving the totally absurd picture of a crying beauty forcing bitter laughs to form in her throat, but it worked jack.

Only time can heal these wounds and after a while which felt like an eternity the crying ceased to a mere sobbing and finally transformed into heavy breathing.

She was slowly coming back to her senses, but remained with her face covered in both of her hands as she tried to gather the strength to stand up.

After some time she pulled herself up on the railings and was finally back on her feet again, still trembling.

"calm down, control yourself" she thought with her head still bowed down.

She inhaled deeply and forced her legs to start walking, as she headed for the library she considered to grab a coffee beforehand but dismissed the thought relatively fast.

Too much was going on in her head, somehow she realized everything that has happened even though it still seemed like a horrible dream.

"I need some time now" she said to herself and just reached the door that somehow felt heavier than normal and shoved it open.

Robin had no real idea why she was here so she looked around the room as if trying to find a reason in it, sighing as she headed for one of the seats next to a window.

She sat down pulling the legs close to her body and wrapped her arms around them while her head rested sideways on the knees.  
>She could feel her heart beating softly against her thigh when she gazed over the seashore outside the window, but she was distantly staring into emptiness while the room was flooded by the golden light of the setting sun.<p>

What was the meaning behind this? she wondered.

Especially Zoro's words didn't made much sense to her.

Why was he apologizing?

It wasn't just something that slipped out it sounded too honest for that, so why was he saying it?

Did he knew she would suffer?

For sure he knew but still as she had messed up he had no reason to pity her.

She expected him to be angry and the longer she kept thinking the more her curiousness started to kick in, she wanted to ask him directly.

"Some things only happen once in a lifetime and when one of these moments strikes you, you need to hold tight at all if it pains you, if it seems impossible even if it tears the flesh from your bones, hold them as close to your heart as you can for they will bring you joy for more lives still to come."

She had never thought about it, but these were the words from a book she had read a long time ago.

Now that this notion had manifested in her mind she realized her whole story with this pirate crew was nothing less than a twist of fate.

That Luffy saved her in one of his whims, that they journeyed together with the same dream to fulfil their dreams, that she had finally found people she could trust.

She smiled a little bit when she quietly said "I see, so this is how fate wants to be played" while a small tear was running down her cheek.

She didn't move an inch when Nami opened the door.

"Robin what are yo..." she stopped at the sight of her friend.

Call it female intuition or just stating the obvious either way she understood immediately.

"You told him?" was all she asked with a soft voice.

It took Robin some time until she just nodded without making eye contact.

"And...how?...he..." Nami squirmed not knowing how to put it, Robin just shook her head and it was silent again.

Nami let out a hesitant laugh "hey it's not like you love him anyway, we will..."

She hit a sensitive spot right there and she turned her head around, Robin really liked the Navigator but didn't wanted to listen to her plans to make up for it right now.

"Please stop" was all she said but Nami continued "Yeah I know we will arrange for him..."

Robin felt anger rising sometimes Nami was just a simpleton.

"Just stop it now" she said louder than before however Nami rambled on

"Oh I know you will be..." that was the point when Robin lost her temper.

"Just Stop it already " she yelled with a whit of cracking in the voice.

"This is not a game anymore! so please stop it before things will get ugly"

Nami had no idea things were so serious for her friend, she remained calm as Robin continued.

"I just need some time to do it myself, I must do it alone no one else can help me with this I owe that to him, ..really to all of you so please just leave me alone for now"

Nami heard the determination in these words which would never allow her to argue any further.

She inhaled deeply and just nodded "tell me when you need something" she spoke softly and closed the door.

She slowly sank down to the floor burying her face in the hands just muttering "Shit" she really had no clue it worried Robin so much.

The archaeologist made a notion to apologize to Nami for her sudden outburst however she found truth in what she had said.

It was her burden to get everything straight for the crew, for Zoro and for herself.

Maybe it was a trial, given by fate to test her will and wish.

She had to do it on herself like always, but different this time for she really wanted to do it for her Nakamas.

She chuckled when a short thought came to her mind "You don't love him anyway" ….she pondered

"We'll see"

* * *

><p>So that's it im currently almost finished with the next chapter but I don't really know what to think about it, so I may rewrite it, I'm not so sure yet.<p>

Dunno if you're interested in that anyway.

How do you like it so far? Do you like it? do you hate it? are you not sure?

Let me know, I really appreciate your Reviews

Thanks for your attention

Greetings


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